


I regret many feelings towards you; hate is not one of them.

by LadySalvatore



Series: The Unholy family [6]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Extra marital affairs, F/M, Half-Sibling Incest, Jon Snow knows nothing, Sad Sansa, broody Jon, but they aren't really sibblings right?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 04:45:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12028386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadySalvatore/pseuds/LadySalvatore
Summary: He once believed himself to be a righteous honorable man but somehow in the midst of everything he had let all in him be tarnished and he became a rotten dark person. And yet he couldn’t bring himself to regret anything, for he had done it all for her.





	I regret many feelings towards you; hate is not one of them.

_He watched her._

_Always watched her._

His eyes followed her everywhere she went in the castle; they softened when they watched her cuddling her children, they went mad when he saw the way other man looked at her and they filled with sorrow every time she glanced in his direction.

Jon had finally got rid of the gallant Harrold Hardyng; granted that hadn’t been his plan when he first stepped back into Winterfell but he couldn’t deny it was something that had consumed his thoughts for many nights. He had wanted Sansa all to himself and yet somehow, now he felt as if he was losing her.

“Sweetling… I must speak with you” His words were low and murmured as he walked into her solar to find her sitting in front of the window. Her blue eyes hurt and lost somewhere outside the castle.

Her hair was loose around her shoulders, contrasting with the dark of her clothes. A couple of weeks had gone by since the death of her husband and yet she remained wearing her mourning clothes. People in Winterfell looked at her with sympathy and sadness and ravens had arrived from the Vale already, asking for little Nedd to be send to the Eyre to be fostered since he was to be the next Lord of the Vale.

Jon hated the thought, his son was meant to be the heir of the Seven Kingdoms and he also knew how much it pained Sansa to think of her little one going away.

She didn’t respond to his words so he walked further into the room until he was standing right behind her; the lemon and lavender scent of her skin filled his nostrils as he breathed her in. He couldn’t recall the exact moment when this madness for his sister became stronger than him but now she was everything that filled with thoughts, once a stranger to him she was now the most important part of his world.

“Are you leaving already?” Her voice startled him out of his reverie, his fingers rose to caress her cheek as he moved to stand to her side now “You came to say goodbye didn’t you?” There was no hurt or anger in her voice, there was nothing. Pure and hollow emptiness and Jon hated to know he was the one who put it there.

“Aye, I do”

She made a low sound in the back of her throat that might have been a sob, without thinking twice about it Jon kneeled down at her feet. His eyes searching for her sweet face, for the love he knew still shone in her eyes when she stared at him.  

“It’s all you know how to do Jon, leave” She huffed and he saw the flickers of the embers that burned inside her “You should have let me be happy”

Now it was his turn to huff “Truly? What did you expect me to do when you sent that letter Sansa?” He stood up in completely anger, his body almost shaking with the force of his fury “You expected for me to just give you up?”

“Yes! Yes I did!” She rose to her feet as well, moving the chair a few centimeters away in the process. The dull calloused expression was no longer on her face “You can’t have it all Jon. You can’t have her and me. And since you can’t give her up you were supposed to do it with me”

He laughed without an ounce of humor “You speak as if marrying her had been for pleasure-“

“Oh I’m sure you suffered a big deal when you bedded her”

His fury blinded him as he reached to grasp her arms and pulled her to him “Do not come here and pretend to know how I feel” He hissed at her face, their lips barely touching “I will find a way out of this Sansa, I will make this right”

“You can’t-“Her voice broke down “You can’t make it right”

Jon shook his head vehemently, he refused to believe that after everything that life had taken from them it would deny them this as well “I can and I will Sansa. Everything will work out in the end”

“Oh Jon” She sighed defeated “Don’t you see? Nothing can ever be right. Just look in what we’ve become” She broke down in a sob and let herself be embraced by him “What would father think of us?”

He closed his eyes in pain for that was another thing that haunted him at night. He once believed himself to be a righteous honorable man but somehow in the midst of everything he had let all in him be tarnished and he became a rotten dark person.

And yet he couldn’t bring himself to regret anything, for he had done it all for her.

“Don’t… don’t sweet girl” He stroked her hair as she sobbed against his chest “Don’t think about it”

“How can I not?”

He pulled away from her and brought her face towards his “None of that matters, it’s just you and my love. Just you and me”

Their lips found each other mid-way, hands touched and caressed, clothes were shredded and sweet words were spoken in the middle of the night. Their bodies collided in a mess of tangled sweaty limbs, sheets twisted around them as they chased the pleasure that always exploded between each other.

Both knew that with every day their sin became a much darker thing but they did not mind, not when only being with each other felt right. Not when the only way to be complete was to be connected, he was hers and she was his and no amount of guilt or self-hatred could change that.

Once they were seated and lay naked in each other’s arms Jon whispered the words he had feared to utter over the last days “Please don’t hate me”

Sansa sighed as she closed her eyes in pleasure at the feel of his fingers trailing down her spine “Oh Jon even if I tried I could never hate you. Never”

She wondered if perhaps that made her stupid or naive but she did not care for Jon had been the one to piece her back together and hating him would be like destroying herself into a thousand little fragments.

“I will return to you Sansa” He vowed before placing a kiss on her forehead “I will find a way to return to you forever”

She nodded and drifted to sleep in his arms. She wanted to believe him but Sansa had learned a long time ago that promises were broken as easily as they were made.

Jon left for King’s landing the next day.

The same day Meera Reed arrived back at Winterfell.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, Bran is at Winterfell but he pretty much keeps quiet about everything so yeah he's not very useful.


End file.
